(no subject)

[shaicarus]

 so I’m a diabetic. have been since I was a toddler. usually I’ve got it pretty well in hand, but for the last month or so my blood sugars have been fucking disastrous. I don’t know why. it wasn’t a slow thing. just one day my numbers decided to go nuts. my A1C shot up to 8 from 7.4, and rarely does my blood sugar come down below the 200s anymore. my endocrinologist just kinda shrugged and said ‘well that’s not ideal.’

it’s not my basal rates. if I just straight up don’t eat, my numbers are fine. but I don’t know if it’s my bolus calculations, either, because it doesn’t seem to matter how fucking much I bolus for my food, it is never enough. I’m regularly taking enough insulin for 90 carbs for food that I know only has 50-some, and it’s never enough. it’s like suddenly my insulin is incapable of actually counteracting food at all and I’m so sick of this.

a few days ago, I had my typical physical, and my PCP ordered a piss test and a blood test to make sure there wasn’t an infection brewing in my kidneys or something like that.

and really, how fucked up is it that I was hoping I would have some sort of infection? because if I did, it would explain the blood sugar thing, and that would be something I could actually do something about. an infection can be fixed!

but the tests came back negative. I don’t have a UTI or a kidney infection, and this news disappointed me.