huh. it turns out I do have a UTI. turns out when the doctor’s office called to give me my results, the lady was only talking about my blood test results. she just didn’t say that; all she said was that my test results were negative for infection. so now I have a prescription for Cipro (which I don’t like, because it tends to give me the entire laundry list of side effects and I am useless the whole time I’m on it, but whatever) and I’ll start taking that in a couple days when I’m no longer out of state.
if all goes well, my blood sugar will come back into something approximating control and I can stop existing as a vibrating ball of stress. fingers are crossed.