Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

okay I started two days ago but whatever, I'm really bad at it and not that far in

but I'm sure it's a very serious game, I've heard only good things--

'The best way to defeat an enemy is by reducing their health down to zero while keeping your own above zero.'
OH GEE YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY

also please someone explain to me why all the horses have broken necks, I'm very confused and I feel very bad for poor Phobos.

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 me, climbing a giant statue of athena: does this count as sacrilege

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 'Leap of Faith

Falling causes damage, but is never fatal.'

 

...*slowly looks at Ezio* why couldn't you do that

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 I ran all around this map so I could tell this old guy stories, and all I got out of it was a pair of pants that I can't even wear for another eight levels

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 like, I get that I'm bad at this game, but that's why I'm playing it on easy. because I'm bad at it. so, considering I'm playing it on easy, I feel like Hyrkanos shouldn't be impossible to kill? and yet I've died like eight times trying to kill him. I thought it was just a matter of me needing to level up, but the game rubber bands his leveling, so he's always a level higher than me. and I get that he's pyrophobic and I need to set him on fire, but he doesn't actually walk down to the area where all the braziers are except for once a blue moon, which makes it a tiny bit difficult to shoot him with a flaming arrow. and I don't want to confront him up by the temple again, because that just results in me getting dog-piled by every other soldier with him, who are all also persistently a level higher than me. I'm getting legit annoyed by now.

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 FINALLY KILLED HIM

I waved a torch at him a lot and Sparta kicked him off a cliff

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 *knifes some poor jackass in the kidney, kills and skins his dog, and steals all his shit*

a family game

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 *gently trots Phobos in circles around the eight foot woman with the gigantic slow hammer and stabs her 87 times with a dagger*

playing fair is my favorite thing to do

but really, i love Phobos, he's my best friend in this game so far. he looks janky as hell, I'm pretty sure his neck is broken, he runs down absolutely anything in his path, he gets caught on every piece of scenery, his pathfinding frequently has him just prancing in circles, and he is made of 8000% undiluted M A J E S T Y

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 
hmmmm

yep, yeah, makes sense

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 on one hand, I don't really like Stentor because he kinda seems like a prick and he kinda seems like a boot-licker. on the other hand, I think I feel bad for him? Nikolaos probably didn't hug him enough.

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 so I walked up that cliff fully expecting to kill him, and then...I didn't. and I think that was actually more emotional than if I had killed him. I mean I've been sort of snickering at the game this whole time for being a bit overwrought, but confronting the Wolf for answers made me feel a feel.

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 "You think my life is entertainment?!"

"No, no. It is art."

*IMMEDIATELY SKEEVED OUT*

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 wait so if he's going to find his honor is he at least going to tell stentor he's leaving
is he going to tell stentor anything
if this guy abandons ANOTHER kid then next time i'm not hesitating, i'm just throwing the asshole off the nearest cliff

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 Alexios looks like...someone. I can't put my finger on who, but he definitely looks like...someone.

Elsa Live Blogs AC Odyssey

 yeah more of this. this is just how it be for now.

I like daggers, spears, and staffs. so I can either attack at range, or attack in rapid succession.

I don't mind the sea travel.

I adore Barnabas.

I had a 'oh!' moment when Herodotus showed up.

what I don't like is the game's tendency to freeze, make a loud stuttering noise, and crash every so often. it's not great.

also if it tells me that another mission is available one moRE FUCKING TIME--